The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Randomize
