farters have to be the big spoon...
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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