3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
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