There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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