That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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