I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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