So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
