she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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