I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Randomize
