Don't you send me to vm
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
