There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
its liver damage thursday
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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