do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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