i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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