I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Randomize
