What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
My pussy is not your playground.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
