So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Randomize
