ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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