I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
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They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
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i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.