marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
it's great music for shaving your balls
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
25 People Confess What They Really Think When They See An Obese Person
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.