Your tits are I can't wait for
I could have mohawked her pubes.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
Dude. She just shit herself.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition