we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
23 Gruesome Scientific Facts That Will Make You Squirm
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it