this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
