he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize
