she takes plan B like it's going out of style
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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