My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
this hospital has no fireball
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
