I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
