I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
