So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
