No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
