he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
