Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Randomize