i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Randomize
