oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Randomize
