My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I wish you could order shots online.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
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