too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
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