I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Randomize
