so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize
