Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
