Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
where am i from again
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
