I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize
