Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
