i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
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