oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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