he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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