found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
