Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Dignity is for republicans.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
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