It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Randomize
