Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize
