last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
