i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
