A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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