Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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