I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
