these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Best friends brother. Beat that.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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