Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
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