you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
