ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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