dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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