I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool