she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
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I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.