I love you!
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Im part way to drunk.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.