i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
