you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Randomize
