saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
