I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Randomize
