Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
